Gulliver arrives in the Unified State of Conflicting Opinions!
Someone on IG (hey, @sirregdeleted!) suggested I had a conversation with Gulliver about his travels. So I had a conversation with Gulliver but it was about one of his less known travels. Here it is:
GULLIVER: “Where am I?” asks Gulliver, who has just been thrown out of country of Houyhnhnms for being a Yahoo.
ME: You’re in the Unified State of Conflicting Opinions.
GULLIVER: Are you a conflicting opinion?
ME: It’s unavoidable. The conversion rate is 100%.
MISTY’S BODY: I like to show off my conflicting curves.
MISTY’S HAIR: There’s nothing conflicting about your curves. They’re conflict-causing.
MISTY’S RIGHT FOOT yells: Don’t tell me you’re right when you’re the left foot!
MISTY’S BRAIN: I must get a compass. Direction is conflicting in my neurons.
GULLIVER: How do you all get along?
ME: We don’t.
GULLIVER: Am I in danger here?
ME: No danger. You’ll fit right in. As soon as you step out there, you’ll start conflicting.
GULLIVER: I will not, I assure you.
ME: Trust me, I lived here a long time. If you hang around me much longer, we’ll start conflicting.
GULLIVER: I have no quarrel with you.
ME: It doesn’t matter. There is often conflict between opposite genders.
GULLIVER: Is that what conflicting ideas of the female gender wear around these parts? You’re basically naked.
ME: I’m basically dressed. See what I mean? We’re already conflicting.