Spreading the word about my “Treasure Hunt” on Baker St.
ME: Mr. Holmes, how kind of you to see me on such short notice. I’m glad you’re not in one of your drugged stupors.
SH: Let’s not get too personal. Pray, sit and get to the point.
ME: My name is Misty Macallister. You don’t know me. Most people don’t.
SH: I know all I need to know about you, Ms. Macallister. I know why you are here.
ME: Call me Misty, please.
SH: What a perfectly vulgar name! Befitting, I suppose, of a yellow-backed novel writer.
ME: How perfectly insulting you are, Mr. Holmes. Befitting, I suppose, of your distinguished reputation. And if I may, what a dump you live in.
SH: It suits my bachelor needs. Should we skip the mutual insults and get to the reason you are here?
ME: By all means. I want you to find the five golden words.
SH: I hope this is different than the sign of the four? I have already solved that case.
ME: Quite different, I assure you. In fact, it’s nothing the same.
SH: And my fee?
ME: Oh, that. I was hoping you’d let that slide. You see, I’m a struggling writer, I can’t afford to pay you.
SH: Very well. Pray tell me all the facts of the case.
ME: Do you think you can tell people what great fun you had finding the five golden words and how wonderful my competition is?
SH: Aren’t you here about the case of the five missing words?
ME: Well… the words are missing, it’s true, but I know where they are. I thought you said you knew why I was here. I want you to write something with the five words you find on my website. I can tell you where they are, if you can’t find them.
SH: I solve crime. I don’t write. That is Watson’s department. Now be off! You have bored me long enough.
ME: I guess that’s the problem with not having chalk on my lapel or ink on my fingertips. You couldn’t actually tell why I came, could you? You probably thought because of my disorderly hair that I must be in a frantic state of mind because of a murder or something of a sordid nature. Well, good bye. I hope you’ll have better luck reading your next visitor.
Famous people aren’t very helpful when you need them, are they?