Why do witches ride brooms?
“Do you know why witches ride brooms?” someone asked.
Do you want a serious answer or a silly answer? I think I’ll just give you my personal opinion. But I warn, this topic gets me worked up.
To begin with, no one knows the answer. Everyone speculates. The speculation that witches applied ointments made with hallucinatory herbs to their broomstick and then inserted the stick in their nether regions is not satisfactory to me. It’s just a very expedient explanation: you have a woman and fallic-shaped object, so the conclusion is obvious. I really wish that witches pleasured themselves – they had a hard enough life already – but I somehow doubt that’s how things went.
And by the way, why is everything about witches so sexually charged? Can it have something to do with the fact that they were women?
Here’s what I think:
1. Witches were oftentimes financially independent women who spurned marriage. They weren’t by any means old or ugly with warts or stuff like that, just normal, albeit independent-minded women.
2. One of the most pervasive household objects in times past (hell, even today) is the broom.
3. One of the most common sights, I have no doubt, was seeing women cleaning with the broom.
4. And I don’t need to tell you that people have terrific imagination.
So, bearing all this in mind, at a time when marriage was becoming institutionalized and the place of women in society was defined very clearly, what do you think men thought of women who wouldn’t get married? The worst, obviously. And what do people do when they think badly of you? They call you offensive names and paint a degrading picture of you. Well, it’s not a great stretch of the imagination to put an unmarried woman together with a broom and imagine they do crazy things.
That’s why I think witches ride brooms.