Category: Daily conversations

Worms don’t shake hands

What you should know about worms, or what you’re better off not knowing about worms? You tell me. Apparently, WORM was what they used to call dragons and great serpents, especially those of old Norse legend. I didn’t know that, or never thought of it, but now that I think about it, that is what Tolkien calls the dragon in THE HOBBIT. “Now WORM is figuratively applied to miserable, groveling creatures,” says The Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. Now how do you think a very regular, decent worm feels being compared to any miserable, groveling creature? There is a...

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To be or not to be? Is it Useful or Useless to know?

Did you ever wonder how USEFUL and USELESS get along? USEFUL says: Make yourself useful! USELESS says: I am useful. USEFUL asks: Useful doing what? USELESS says: Useful being. USEFUL asks: Being what? USELESS says: Just being. USEFUL says: That’s why you’re useless. USELESS says: Is that what I am? USEFUL: Yes, you are. USELESS: And you? Are you? USEFUL: Am I what? USELESS: What you are. USEFUL: What am I? USELESS: I thought you knew. USEFUL: I know what you are. USELESS: Which means you’re not. USEFUL: Not what? USELESS: Not what you think you are. It sounds...

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Stop making fun of the owls, Bacchus!

Here’s a phrase that you may or may not find useful in situations where you don’t know what to say: LIKE AN OWL IN THE IVY-BUSH. Here’s what it means according to The Dictionary of Phrase and Fable: “having a stupid, vacant stare.” Very useful! For instance: Person 1: What do I look like? Person 2: Like an owl in the ivy bush. Person 1: What does that mean? Person 2: It means you’re beautiful. See? Useful.  It’s a nice way of being rude. The Dictionary goes on to explain the phrase: “Owls are proverbial for their judge-like solemnity....

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From poetry that causes indigestion to prose that makes you horny

Someone asked me: “Can you talk about one novel that has been a huge influence on you and why?” ME: “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. As a consequence of reading it, I’ve developed a serious fear of poetry. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that if I were to write poetry it would give people intestinal distress, so it inspired me to write prose instead. Although I’ve never exactly intended to write prose that will make people horny. But that’s better than nausea or stomach pains. So, thanks Vogon poetry! MISTY’S BODY: “The Picture Of Dorian Gray”, because...

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There’s no one like Marilyn!

I use MM a lot – short for MISTY MACALLISTER – as in MM Books, MM Productions when I make my silly videos, MMB or MM Bookstore. I’ve just looked in the Dictionary of Abbreviations and it looks like MM is very popular. Here’s what MM stands for: MACHINIST’S MATE – I have no idea what that is. Oh! Thanks, Wikipedia! It’s what you call the guy who works in the engine room if you’re in the Navy. It’s like English Teacher, ET. Convenient in conversation: “What do you do? I’m MM. Not to be confused with Misty Macallister.”...

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