On invisibility and other super powers
ME: I’ve just read something seriously ridiculous in the Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. Apparently, it was believed at one time that plants had the power of imparting their own characteristics on the wearer. For instance, the seed of certain species of ferns is so small as to be invisible to the naked eye, hence the plant was believed to confer invisibility on those who carried it about their person.
MISTY’S BRAIN: That’s a silly thing to believe.
MISTY’S HAIR: How do you know it didn’t make people invisible? Have you tried it?
MISTY’S BRAIN: I don’t have to try it. It’s science. That’s not how invisibility works.
MISTY’S HAIR: Belief has nothing to do with science.
ME: The hair has a point, brain. How about this belief? This plant called wood-sorrel has a leaf that is heart-shaped, so it was believed that if you carried it around in your pocket it would cheer your heart.
MISTY’S BRAIN: That’s utter nonsense. Happiness has nothing to do with the heart. It has to do with chemicals in the brain.
MISTY’S HAIR: You’ll never get it, brain. Belief has nothing to do with the brain, it has more to do with the heart.
ME: Imagine if people believed books had the ability to impart their characteristics to the bearer! Carry my books and you have instant orgasms wherever you go.
MISTY’S HAIR: The sex toys industry wouldn’t like the competition. And it wouldn’t be hard to disprove scientifically.
ME: I imagine there are people out there who carry my stories in their pockets. If they read them on the phone. They could prove it scientifically.