The food of the future

by | Mar 28, 2018 | Daily conversations, Let's laugh! | 0 comments

I saw an article in “The New Yorker”: WHAT FOOD WILL BE LIKE IN THE FUTURE and it started me thinking. Here’s my version of “What food will be like in the future”:

In the future there won’t be food, there will be FOOD INSURANCE.

First tierThe Rusted Metal level – will cover already chewed processed or unprocessed food, expired processed or heavily processed foods, rotting fruits and veggies. Just cut off the bad parts and, if you’re lucky, there will be some edible parts left. Clean water not covered. Luxury food and drink not included, so if you want wine and spirits or things like that, you’re out of luck. No restaurants covered.

Second tierThe Iron – will cover unwrapped processed foods that have only been nibbled at, wilted veggies and slightly wrinkled fruits that still have some nutrients in them, unfiltered water straight from the source. Depending on where you live, the source may be a lot or only slightly polluted. Only local beer included. Fast food restaurants covered.

Third tierThe Silver – will cover fully-wrapped and unexpired processed foods, reasonably fresh fruits and veggie, although ripeness isn’t guaranteed, and only carbon-filtered water. Wine and other spirits are covered but only the cheap variety. If you have a sophisticated palate, you’re out of luck. Chain restaurants covered, as well as two-stars local restaurants.

Fourth tierThe Gold – will cover everything from the third tier, plus organic processed foods, and reverse osmosis water, and medium-priced wines and spirits. Three-star restaurants covered.

Fifth tierThe Platinum – they get everything that’s good because they’re super covered.

You will have to make sure your family is covered by the same insurance or else you won’t be able to eat out at the same restaurants anymore.

What will you eat when you travel and your insurance doesn’t cover you? You’ll have to pay out of pocket, but since you’re not covered for travel, restaurants will charge you 10 times or 100 times the actual price, so you’ll have to starve.

See you,