What can POUND do to THROB in the boxing ring?
I don’t usually go to boxing matches, but this year I’m going to the NATIONAL EROTICA WORDS BOXING MATCH out of professional interest, and here are my top 10 contenders:
In the EROTIC heavy-weight category:
THROB has, in my opinion, the best chance of winning the title for the most EROTIC WORD OF THE YEAR, but no one else seems to think so. That’s why I’m the only one who’s betting on it.
I have a few other favs, and they already have strong support.
POUND has a pretty good chance of winning and has the Hulk’s support. I like POUND because it has the “pound for pound” advantage over all of them.
GRIND has pretty good chance, and I see Grendel is here to show his support for it, grinding his teeth and trying to intimidate everyone into backing off. What a bully! Personally, I think GRIND should choose its supporters more carefully. Erotically speaking, grinding is pretty effective on its own.
IMPALE is so clearly not erotic, and yet, Dracula has put his money on it. It’s looking rather pale and Dracula standing by its side makes it look even paler, but I like IMPALE nonetheless. It has guts, or it gets to the guts, at least.
In the SENSUAL middle-weight category:
I’m placing my bets on RUB. It only has the support of a few rubber ducks, and it makes RUB look silly next to CARESS who is everyone’s favorite. Don’t get me wrong, I love CARESS as well, but at the international level CARESS doesn’t stand a chance against the Italian CAREZZA. So I’m placing my bets on RUB. It doesn’t have what it takes to be sensual, but it has assertiveness.
I see MOAN, PANT, and BREATHLESS warming up on the sidelines, but I put my bets on WHISPER, although I see a lot of snakes coiled around it so I can’t get too near to show my support. They look like constrictors but you can never be too sure with snakes.
Oh, and here are SLIP, SLIDE, SWELL, and SPREAD trying to convince STROKE to compete. Are you kidding? Maybe in the erotic category, not the sensual. If I were to place my money on another sensual word it would be TOUCH. It always knows how to handle itself in a touchy situation: not too much pressure, not too little.
In the ROMANTIC light-weight category there are only two contenders and I love them both:
KISS, who brought along a kissing-comfit. How considerate! I love KISS now even more. KISS, as you know, does a lot of kissing. I think I’m going to head over to KISS for a kiss. Everyone’s headed that way. Who can say no to a kiss from an expert?
And SMILE, who’s smiling away, even though no one is smiling with it. Everyone’s busy placing their bets and eager for the match to start. No one sees any point in a smile. But I do. And I always support anything that smiles.