What is love?
ALIEN (from out of space, not the other kind) asks: What is love?
ME: A mutual exchange of emotions. (I heard this in a Doctor Who episode and thought it might come in handy some day.)
ALIEN: We’ve studied your video archives. We’ve noticed that during this mutual exchange of emotion vital organs experience dangerous levels of activity, followed by very close physical contact that ends with internal fluids spilling on the ground.
ME: That is what is called physical love.
ALIEN: I thought it was called war.
ME: Well…um…ah….(What in the name of love do I say now? This alien is right)…war is also a mutual exchange of emotions. That results in internal fluids spilling on the ground. You’re right. But love is different.
(I’d better not mention that love can break your heart because that’s a vital organ and that can’t make an alien think too much about love.)
Why is it so hard to explain love?
Oh, no, wait! I’ve got it!
ME again: Well, you know, LOVE comes from the Sanskrit word LUBH which means “to desire” and the Latin LUBET which means “it pleases”.
ALIEN: The etymology is satisfactory. LOVE is exactly the reason why we – the alien species called…insert sinister-sounding name from your own imagination – love this planet. We love to conquer it.
Yet another example (totally fictional, so relax) of how LOVE gets people in trouble!